Polk Law Blog

March is guardian ad litem month in the state of Florida. I am a guardian ad litem volunteer. I consider being a GAL a part of who I am and I can’t imagine a better way for me to make a real difference in the world. Today, I had the pleasure of seeing my case close after nearly two years of work. I may or may not ever see my clients again, although I hope they will look me up one day, so it’s a bit sad for me, but it is very gratifying to see a case close successfully. 

I take every opportunity I can to tell people about the GAL program. I am often told “I don’t know how you do it.” My response is always the same: I can’t not do it. People pay a lot of lip service to public service. People write a check representing a few hours of labor and feel like they are “giving back,” but the commitment you make to a scared, depressed, and confused child when you walk into the foster home, hand them your card, and say, “Hi, I’m going to be your friend through this process, no matter how long it takes” is a real commitment. 

I’d like to take an opportunity to correct a few misconceptions about the program. Some of these are misconceptions I had and some are what I perceive others to have:

1.  Myth: I don’t think I could handle working with abused children. 

Fact:  Yes, you can. Abuse is a reality that these kids live with every day. It affects them every morning when they get up, every day, and every night when they go to sleep. Its rather silly of you, me, or anyone else to think that we can’t handle even being around them. If an 8-year old can handle living with that reality, surely you can handle merely knowing about. These kids are just like other kids. They like to run, play, act, scream, listen to music, hang with friends, ignore you, dress rebelliously, eat pizza and do everything that all other kids do. You don’t need any special constitution just to get to know them and be a friend. You don’t need to be a counselor, a lawyer, or a psychiatrist. You just need to care enough to get over your own prejudices. Do you care enough? Well then get over it and get to work. 

2. Myth: I don’t have time. 

Fact: Yeah, you probably don’t have time. What with all that time you have to spend playing golf, watching “reality” TV, fishing, or making your house spotless. You see my point? Not having time is about making value decisions about what activities are important to you. Maybe you feel that putting one more coat of environmentally harmful fertilizer on your stupid grass so it can be a little greener than the house next door is a better use of your time on Saturday morning than going to visit a foster kid who doesn’t have anyone speaking up for them. Not that I’m judging you. Personally, I don’t think so, and I have the dead lawn to prove it.  (Really.) You don’t have to go to such extreme measures like me, but I am sure there is some petty indulgence you can give up to make room in your schedule to make the life of a child better. 

Seriously, though, it does take time. I have spent anywhere between 1 and 20 hours in a month on a case. You need an understanding spouse and employer. I am very fortunate to have both. If you have that, you can make it work if it is important to you. It will change your life. I hope you will consider it important enough to go for it. 

3. Myth: These situations are too messed up for me to do anything about. I would get too down to keep it up.

Fact: You’ll have those moments, but kids are not little robots that automatically become deadbeats because they grew up in a tough environment. I don’t remember where (I think it was in Man’s Search for Meaning by Frankl, great book) but I have seen human suffering compared to that of an abused dog. If you beat a dog, you are going to end up with a really scared or mean dog nearly 100% of the time. But humans have an ability to accept suffering and make a conscious decision about how they are going to let it affect them. Suffering will make strong people even stronger. You are helping teach these kids that lesson. Often, you will leave their lives before you get a chance to see whether it sunk in or not, but the fact is that it DOES sink in. Their resilience and ability to do OK in school, to allow their intellectual understanding to transcend their emotional difficulties, and the lessons you see them learning will inspire you enough to keep you going through the moments when you question whether it is worth it. It is. 

4. Myth: The system is so bad, I don’t want to be a part of it. 

Fact: I have never seen a more caring, committed, loving, and altruistic group of people than the caseworkers and foster parents I have met in my work. They truly make a sacrifice to do the jobs they do because they care. There are a few bad eggs, and the system is bureaucratically frustrating, but more often that not, the caseworker and the foster parents are doing everything they can. The system works too slowly, but at the end of the day it usually gets to the right place. You will get frustrated, and you will want to pull your hair out at times. But if you approach the caseworker from a collaborative standpoint and be the person who makes sure things keep moving, you can find it satisfying enough that this will not prevent you from getting involved. 

 Please consider volunteering. It will make a difference and it will change your life forever.